[He does this often. It's a shitty defense mechanism he needs to grow out of, but then again, Asher Millstone has yet to grow out of a lot of things.
His face is smushed against a pillow as he watches the monk sleep peacefully, looking calmer and more comfortable than he did many months ago. Jin isn't tossing or turning tonight.
Asher's eyes narrow as he tries to think back to what the other had said before, something about being cute and fun to be around, although it seems so distant now.]
I dunno, I
[But he does know, doesn't he?
He's been there to support Jin since day one, or day twenty, or day thirty-six.
you're only an idiot if you get caught up in your own bullshit
i can tell you don't want to. i think you can figure out how to. it's just a matter of knowing yourself, and knowing him. knowing what's good for both of you.
it's not his job to solve your panic. it's yours. i think you know that, too. because you know how hard he worked to get to where he is now.
you're that type of person as well. which i imagine is why he likes you.
you see good people in each other. what you're saying now, it proves you think like a good person. now you just have to act like one.
[But this is . . . reassuring. That he already knows. It's promising. Not any manner of guarantee, but better than he expected.]
i can try to help you. i care about you too, you know. but i'll admit my patience is a little limited? when it comes to this kind of thing. i apologize.
[He wants to ask why or what Giorno means, about his patience being limited.
Somehow, though, Asher doesn't want to spoil the small bit of hope that's sprouted in his chest, amidst all the worry. It's one thing to hear encouraging words from a partner who is a little more than just invested in your personal growth, but it's another thing entirely to hear it from someone else, nosy as the mafia boss may be.]
I appreciate what you're tryin' to do, fo' sho.
I'm glad he's got you around, yeah? Both of us, actually.
[ok tbf they DID get together not entirely of their own doing butt bcuz of something loki did??? whoa damn he's gotta thank him for that mental note rip]
[There are many questions he has for himself, perhaps- Like how long has this been going on? How many friendships weren't really friendships, and what would his family think, if they found out? Nothing good, probably.
In some ways, he is thankful that this all happened here, in a world where this is more acceptable, somehow.]
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He is as far as he could possibly be from law school, from Annalise, his father... But somehow, the distance has made him a better lawyer.
Or at least, a better liar.]
I'm kinda messed up.
[That being said, there is no good way to lie about this.]
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yeah.
we all are
even jin. especially jin.
messed up doesn't mean bad
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[A clear red flag.
Asher hardly conveys any messages without being overly emotional. Somehow, that text seems devoid of any feeling it all.]
You don't think I know what he's been through?
[Ah, there it is.]
I didn't just hear about it, I saw that shit.
Sure, he's a little rough around the edges. But he's a good guy.
["And I'm not."]
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[It isn't meant to be rude so much as . . . a preference. A stiff request, but a request all the same. And anyway, it's not the real point.]
why do you think he likes you if you're such a bad guy,
then?
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His face is smushed against a pillow as he watches the monk sleep peacefully, looking calmer and more comfortable than he did many months ago. Jin isn't tossing or turning tonight.
Asher's eyes narrow as he tries to think back to what the other had said before, something about being cute and fun to be around, although it seems so distant now.]
I dunno, I
[But he does know, doesn't he?
He's been there to support Jin since day one, or day twenty, or day thirty-six.
From the moment he say through the veneer.]
I just don't wanna hurt him, I'm
[Suddenly, Jin stirs.]
I'm an idiot
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i can tell you don't want to. i think you can figure out how to. it's just a matter of knowing yourself, and knowing him. knowing what's good for both of you.
it's not his job to solve your panic. it's yours. i think you know that, too. because you know how hard he worked to get to where he is now.
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[Important words to hear, from someone other than himself.]
He's that type of guy, y'know... Wants to fix everything, save everybody?
[It's a part of why Asher loves him so much.]
But I don't know if he can fix this, and I don't want him to.
It's not his problem.
[It's mine.]
I hear ya, I do.
I'm lookin' out for him, I swear.
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you see good people in each other. what you're saying now, it proves you think like a good person. now you just have to act like one.
[But this is . . . reassuring. That he already knows. It's promising. Not any manner of guarantee, but better than he expected.]
i can try to help you. i care about you too, you know. but i'll admit my patience is a little
limited?
when it comes to this kind of thing. i apologize.
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[He wants to ask why or what Giorno means, about his patience being limited.
Somehow, though, Asher doesn't want to spoil the small bit of hope that's sprouted in his chest, amidst all the worry. It's one thing to hear encouraging words from a partner who is a little more than just invested in your personal growth, but it's another thing entirely to hear it from someone else, nosy as the mafia boss may be.]
I appreciate what you're tryin' to do, fo' sho.
I'm glad he's got you around, yeah? Both of us, actually.
You're a good kid.
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[He might as well joke about it. If he responded honestly, it'd switch the conversation back to focus on him, and that's not the point of this.]
do you have any soul-searching questions about your sexuality
i have answers, probably, if you don't ask stupidly
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[ok tbf they DID get together not entirely of their own doing butt bcuz of something loki did??? whoa damn he's gotta thank him for that mental note rip]
ok no ya ur right lol
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[There are many questions he has for himself, perhaps- Like how long has this been going on? How many friendships weren't really friendships, and what would his family think, if they found out? Nothing good, probably.
In some ways, he is thankful that this all happened here, in a world where this is more acceptable, somehow.]
I think I'm aite, for right now.
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good
i'm proud of you
both of you i mean
if you do need someone to talk to at any point, i'll do my best to be there for you
and not slap you
like i slapped jin
(although he deserved it)
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[why does he ruin like, legitimate acts of support by typing things like this]
You know you've got us if you need to talk too, right?
I'll be all ears if you ever gotta do that sorta thaaaang
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what "sorta thaaaaang" are you referring to
slapping jin?
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[Said with a laugh at his communicator.]
I mean if you ever need to have a ❤️ 2 ❤️ wid somebuddy
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are you very good at ♥ 2 ♥s?
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[he's also pretty good at 🍆 2 🍆's butt... that is
not relevant]
idk ig I'm a kinda feelsy guy
[read: he cries v frequently]
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oh also jin says you're cute when you cuddle in your sleep
i feel that that's relevant
aren't you american men expected to be terribly stoic though? good for you not being suckered into that
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[welp that was disgusting]
uh, and kind of! idk i've like
never really given 2 shits about that tho lmfao
some dudes can go days without givin a damn, i'm just not rly that type of guy
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not that that's a reason to do what they want, but it's the reason most people give for not challenging themselves
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yeah, i do
[He remembers the words.
Weak, sensitive-]
but datz jusss me
[Pathetic.]
i am who i am, baby
[It is one of the very few things about himself that he actually likes.]
and there ain't nothin wrong with that
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you're a very surprising person in some ways
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ya think?
[The closer you get to Asher Millstone, the more you realize that he is as simple as can be.
He is just simply not what you'd expect.]
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1/?
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