I apologise. I forgot you were not around when it happened, though it was not a secret that I had to be put under. The virus' symptoms increased quite rapidly for me, I did not have much of a choice.
[ It's probably for the best that this isn't video then... Her arms are covered in bite marks from where she'd tried to control herself by herself as well. She made some a+ decisions. ]
[ Well it would have been better had she not been. It's not a question of that. Even if her classmates had been set free onto the world to cause the destruction they had, it was her influence in Europe that sped up the process. ]
When you are able, I will talk to you about it then. It feels wrong to discuss it here when you have told me something much more pleasant.
[ She doesn't mean it in a bad way, just that there are people he may wish to visit even if his boyfriend may not be back yet. She only gets that much by trying to check who she is able to contact right now. ]
[ It's a little strange to think that she offered this to begin with, but worrying about lying about something like this on top of all the other things she's worrying about lately seems like a silly thing to do. She offers a smaller smile in response, a little more reserved today, and waves her hand in response.
She's found a bench in the meantime, her hands resting on her lap. The dress she's wearing may not be the best for a talk like this, given that it's sleeveless. She hadn't had the time to go home and change though. ]
Good day. Please, take a seat.
[ She pats the spot next to her, glad that she chose here at least as the area is a lot more peaceful here. ]
[Asher makes himself comfortable nearby, setting his bag down first. There is something earnest and even timid about his mannerisms that may throw her off, as it's a far cry from the emphatic personality he usually displays on the network.
Sonia had mentioned being kidnapped before, almost as though it was no big deal. This is going to be heavy, certainly.]
[ Her own bag is by her feet, though it isn't filled with anywhere nearly as many things. At least today she left the hamsters in her room. It means she won't be distracted trying to ensure no cat is trying to eat them. ]
I am not quite sure where to begin... [ She smooths out the bottom of her dress, eyes lowering to her lap as well now. ]
Though I imagine some things have become more questionable after what happened in Woodhurst. Perhaps I should start by saying it is not the first time I have lived through an illness like that. Back home, people were "infected" in a similar way, only it is more accurate to call it brainwashing than a disease of any kind. Brainwashing to wish for despair on yourself and on others. Unlike those in Woodhurst, however, people retained their ability to plan, to think things through, and therefore could inflict the most pain.
[He watches her with uneasy eyes, swallowing hard.
Sonia is not the first person to tell him that her world is like this. Lucina had mentioned something eerily similar, and for a moment, Asher feels thankful that his own home life seems relatively mundane in comparison.]
So...
[The words are delayed by a noise in his throat.]
You're sayin' you've been through this before?
[Her resilience suddenly makes all the more sense.]
[ Lucina had perhaps understood that part for similar reasons, but the rest had been beyond even her. ]
I was one of the first. My class were targeted as the ones to spread "despair". Given my influence in Europe, perhaps you can imagine the damage I was able to cause. Even if my country were to return to normal, I doubt I would even be welcomed home.
[ Her smile is hollow now, but she doesnt't cry. ]
After taking control from my parents, that would be as I deserve.
The ringing in his ears, loud and harsh and deafening, even though he knows the sounds aren't real.
Asher doesn't quite understand what she means by that, so he slowly attempts to piece together the story in his own mind. There was an illness, a desire to spread sadness...
[ She says it softly, but there's still a weight behind it. ]
Millions died, and even those that did not have lost their minds. My world, as it is right now, is struggling to recover from what can only be called an apocolyptic state. "The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History" is what it was named, with us being the Ultimate Despairs.
[ Her fingers intertwine on her lap, finally locking and resting like that. ]
For three years, I had no control of myself or my actions. When I arrived here, it was after someone from the remaining organisation that had been trying to defeat us had put us into a system to "restore us". Only myself and four others came out of that in tact. My other classmates... are current comatose.
Immediately, he regrets the impulsive nature of his question.
The words she uses to describe that day sound like something out of a fairy tale told to frighten little children. His brows press together immediately as he makes a connection to her name and occupation as well- She is Sonia Nevermind, the princess of a European country he has never heard of. He hopes, for her sake, that she isn't the titular character in some predetermined tragedy.]
Then it wasn't your fault.
If you couldn't help it, then you're not the one who-
[He touches her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, just now noticing the marks.]
[ It isn't something she's properly explained to anyone, simply because she's tried to block it all out. The other memories surrounding it are of her atop the castle, commanding an army of people wearing monokuma masks to go out and kill, harm and cause destruction while Mahiru had taken pictures of her to spread their influence even further. ]
Perhaps not entirely, but it was still my hands and my mouth that issued the orders and harmed others.
[ She blinks when he seems to stop after that though, the "oh my god" making her blink. ]
What is it?
[ It's where his eyes land that has her pause as well. It isn't as though she'd forgotten, more that they are something she actually feels proud of, in a strange way. Her finger reaches to trace one mark, before it flattens against the skin. ]
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I apologise. I forgot you were not around when it happened, though it was not a secret that I had to be put under. The virus' symptoms increased quite rapidly for me, I did not have much of a choice.
[ It's probably for the best that this isn't video then... Her arms are covered in bite marks from where she'd tried to control herself by herself as well. She made some a+ decisions. ]
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[Ugh.]
You know, I'm actually really worried about you?
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If it had... no, that does not matter now.
[ "I would have deserved it" is something she needs to stop trying to think as soon as something like this comes up. ]
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That tugs at the very strings of his heart.]
It totally does?
We'd miss you.
[Said and sent rather quickly, as if it required little thought.]
I'm glad that you're still here.
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It is just something that is difficult to explain like this.
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[What she may not see at the moment is his expression, the look in his eyes...
He knows very well what it feels like, to wonder if the world would be better off without you in it.]
I get that.
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When you are able, I will talk to you about it then. It feels wrong to discuss it here when you have told me something much more pleasant.
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[This is clearly a sensitive subject, and he knows better than to push.]
Whenever you're ready, hit me up.
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While we are here I should be free most of the time, I would just not wish to bother you with this when you only returned recently.
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[Funnily enough, he is telling the truth.]
I'll be around.
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[ She doesn't mean it in a bad way, just that there are people he may wish to visit even if his boyfriend may not be back yet. She only gets that much by trying to check who she is able to contact right now. ]
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Not really.
After goin' at it like that for so long... It actually feels weird not havin' stuff to do.
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Would you prefer I come to you now, then?
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[He checks her location on the communicator.
Huh, she's not all that far.]
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[ Just because it'll be less likely for people to get in the way there. ]
text -> action
[Asher has just recently arrived, still clad in his attire from the court case.
A pleather messenger bag is slung over his shoulder, brimming with files, documents, and some of his own notes.]
Hey!
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She's found a bench in the meantime, her hands resting on her lap. The dress she's wearing may not be the best for a talk like this, given that it's sleeveless. She hadn't had the time to go home and change though. ]
Good day. Please, take a seat.
[ She pats the spot next to her, glad that she chose here at least as the area is a lot more peaceful here. ]
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The way he just can't quite see her anymore.]
Cool, yeah!
Okay.
[Asher makes himself comfortable nearby, setting his bag down first. There is something earnest and even timid about his mannerisms that may throw her off, as it's a far cry from the emphatic personality he usually displays on the network.
Sonia had mentioned being kidnapped before, almost as though it was no big deal. This is going to be heavy,
certainly.]
What's up?
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I am not quite sure where to begin... [ She smooths out the bottom of her dress, eyes lowering to her lap as well now. ]
Though I imagine some things have become more questionable after what happened in Woodhurst. Perhaps I should start by saying it is not the first time I have lived through an illness like that. Back home, people were "infected" in a similar way, only it is more accurate to call it brainwashing than a disease of any kind. Brainwashing to wish for despair on yourself and on others. Unlike those in Woodhurst, however, people retained their ability to plan, to think things through, and therefore could inflict the most pain.
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Sonia is not the first person to tell him that her world is like this. Lucina had mentioned something eerily similar, and for a moment, Asher feels thankful that his own home life seems relatively mundane in comparison.]
So...
[The words are delayed by a noise in his throat.]
You're sayin' you've been through this before?
[Her resilience suddenly makes all the more sense.]
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I was one of the first. My class were targeted as the ones to spread "despair". Given my influence in Europe, perhaps you can imagine the damage I was able to cause. Even if my country were to return to normal, I doubt I would even be welcomed home.
[ Her smile is hollow now, but she doesnt't cry. ]
After taking control from my parents, that would be as I deserve.
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The ringing in his ears, loud and harsh and deafening, even though he knows the sounds aren't real.
Asher doesn't quite understand what she means by that, so he slowly attempts to piece together the story in his own mind. There was an illness, a desire to spread sadness...
And she was one of the first?]
What happened to your parents?
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[ She says it softly, but there's still a weight behind it. ]
Millions died, and even those that did not have lost their minds. My world, as it is right now, is struggling to recover from what can only be called an apocolyptic state. "The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History" is what it was named, with us being the Ultimate Despairs.
[ Her fingers intertwine on her lap, finally locking and resting like that. ]
For three years, I had no control of myself or my actions. When I arrived here, it was after someone from the remaining organisation that had been trying to defeat us had put us into a system to "restore us". Only myself and four others came out of that in tact. My other classmates... are current comatose.
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Immediately, he regrets the impulsive nature of his question.
The words she uses to describe that day sound like something out of a fairy tale told to frighten little children. His brows press together immediately as he makes a connection to her name and occupation as well- She is Sonia Nevermind, the princess of a European country he has never heard of. He hopes,
for her sake, that she isn't the titular character in some predetermined tragedy.]
Then it wasn't your fault.
If you couldn't help it, then you're not the one who-
[He touches her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, just now noticing the marks.]
Oh my god.
* currently even ... phone tags [smh]
Perhaps not entirely, but it was still my hands and my mouth that issued the orders and harmed others.
[ She blinks when he seems to stop after that though, the "oh my god" making her blink. ]
What is it?
[ It's where his eyes land that has her pause as well. It isn't as though she'd forgotten, more that they are something she actually feels proud of, in a strange way. Her finger reaches to trace one mark, before it flattens against the skin. ]
It is not as bad as it may look, Asher.
cw: implied self harm
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icki this isn't sleeping?!?!?!
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