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[moneyballer]

username: I CAN B UR DADDY

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[moneyballer]

[They are sitting here together in an absurd place, surrounded by talking felines and the occasional catnip vendors, and it is just now that he suddenly experiences guilt for taking her at face value, and assuming that she was fine.

It is not her fault that she reminds him of many a student council president he's encountered in his lifetime, the very picture perfect portrait of perfection, with not a hair or a grade out of place. He wonders if he took them for granted too, if they were suffering behind closed doors and he just didn't know it.

How many people are suffering?

He needs to work harder, to listen more carefully...

Loneliness can kill you too.]

It's good to talk, even when it's hard. 'Cause if you don't, you'll just...

[He does not know where to put his hands, so they fold neatly in his lap.]

You'll just go crazy.

Like I said... I'm glad you told me.

[There's a beat, and then yet another sigh.]

I never woulda guessed.

[assent]

Will I?

[ She asks the question softly, a murmur rather than open speech. ]

As a princess your emotions and feelings do not matter. For a long time, I did not really know how to say how I felt, how to even think about it. It is all something I have had to learn over time.

[ Her head tips down slowly. ]

So that is how is should be, that you never would have guessed.

[moneyballer]

[Perhaps that was what bothered him before, the lack of any expression. Asher is far from a misanthrope, quite the opposite, but there is something about perfection that irks him to some degree, even if the person who appears to be that way is nice enough. People are not well-programmed machines, they make mistakes and cry about them, and that is when connections are most easily made.

If friendships are not cemented with laughter, they will be with tears.]

I know you're a princess, and... That'll always be a part of you, but-

[Even the word is strange to say. Sure, he'd met the mayor's daughter once or twice, known many a dignitary foreign or local, but royalty?

That's so weird.]

At least around me, it's cool if you wanna let your walls down.

[With his statement is an unspoken understanding, though.

Sometimes being honest is the hardest thing to do.]

[assent]

It is... quite amusing in a way. I told people that I wished to be treated equally, yet I seem to be unable to drop how I act, no matter how hard I try. It is slowly getting easier, but it is taking quite some time.

[ Her mouth twitches though, a small smile--yet genuine--framing her lips. She kicks her feet out slightly then, careful there are no cats under them or anything. ]

In some ways, I do not wish to leave. People here have been so kind.

[moneyballer]

[Mm.

Sonia is one of the first companions he's heard this sentiment from, as most of the others he has spoken to seem to desperately yearn to return to their own worlds. In a way it has made him feel like somewhat of an outsider, because this team has felt more like home to him than anything ever before.

Even though it is not where he belongs.]

I know exactly what you mean.

[Oliver, someone he supposedly knows and yet can't remember, has emphasized that he misses their classmates at Middleton. But for Asher, what is there to miss?

The boss who hired him for her own personal gain? The father who threw him out? The peers who treat him like an outsider?

Or the woman who showed him a sliver of kindness and seemed content to throw him away when she'd had her fill of his warmth?

He is not blameless, oh god, he is so far from that...

So he understands.]

I don't think I've ever been in a place with this many nice people before.

[assent]

[ She isn't alone with it either, but it's a lot rarer to have anyone agree. Some people have a more solid grounding with their home though. Some aren't potentially going back to their own deaths. It's easier to want to go back when you have something to look forward to, and not the hazy green lights of a circle of pods where most of her classmates are still sleeping. Where the dull ache of knowing the crimes she's committed cannot be undone. ]

They are very forgiving, despite everything.

[ She plucks at her dress, head lowered. ]

If I am honest, I am not sure what I would have done without it.

[moneyballer]

[They are one and the same in that regard.

Her crimes were unintentional, his were founded on ignorance. Asher understands that he is still at fault for his actions, and that his silence was violent too.

Fate can not be undone, but maybe they can prevent these occurrences in the future.

Quietly, he reaches for her hand again, holding it tighter than the last time, implying that he is making a promise.]

Me too.

[What she may not understand in the way his voice breaks is that he too has uttered a terrifying confession in his own right.

He is not a good person, he has done the kinds of things he knows she'd hate him for.

But maybe one day, he'll be better than just that.]