moneyballer | IC CONTACT;

[This is news to him.

He thinks about what happened, with Jason, with Daenarys-]

So you were infected...?

I was, yes. My symptoms worsened much quicker than most as well.

[ She reaches up, tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. ]

In the end I had to be put into a medically induced coma with how bad it was.

So that's why you were actin' up.

[Woodhurst seems to get worse and worse with time.

He is tired of things being even more rotten under the surface than they seem.]

God. I was being such a dick, I'm sorry...

Quite. At least it made me worse than I had intended, in which case I should apologise as well. [ She pats his hand, touch gentle. ]

I know you were only trying to help. You would be surprised with how many people tried to talk sense into me during the mission, however... I am not very good at listening normally, nevermind with the infection as well.

It's okay.

[He gently brushes over her hand with his own.]

You had your own stuff goin' on.

[ Her gaze lowers to the floor in front of them both. ]

Perhaps a little. It was... alarming the first time I saw a riot in Woodhurst. I blacked out, I think. My body reacted faster than I could think, people were dead because of that.

After three years of it, I suppose it is not something your body forgets so easily, no?

[She may not be looking at him but he is definitely looking at her, unable to tear his eyes away for the moment.]

No.

[There's that feeling again, the little tingle in his gut. He's learning each and every day to trust the beating of his own bleeding heart, as somewhere deep down, it always seems to know what's going to happen.

This is why he heard the ringing just minutes prior.]

No, it's not.

[Here he takes one of her hands and squeezes it, wishing there was more he could do or say to relieve her pain.]

[ There's a moment where she breathes out, letting him hold onto her hand, squeeze it as a sign of comfort. She's still sat rimrod straight, posture perfect.

Then slowly, she exhales and slumps enough to drop her head against his upper arm. ]

I do not know why I expected anything else, even before all of that, my home was hardly peaceful.

[What Sonia may or may not know is that in that moment, when she rests her head against his arm, something changes inside of him.

The wretchedness inside her is not the result of her own wrongdoings, but man oh man, does he know what that feels like. To wish for something better, to believe that you are okay and can be good, despite how rotten your core really is and always will be-]

That is just-

[A deep breath.

He hates seeing people suffer.]

Awful.

[His position shifts slightly so that he's looking at her, so she can see that he means what he says.]

Please don't think you have to go through this kind of stuff alone.

Mmm. [ It's the only soft hum she gives to him in response for a short while, not really sure how to articulate everything right away. ]

It took me a few months to open up to people, but everyone has been positive. It is quite strange, really. I would not be offered the same kindness back home. In fact, only three people have done as such, the rest want us dead.

[The Sonia he knows is not some kind of cold-hearted, mind-controlled monster.

That is why his brow knits in confusion as he stares in her direction. Technically, he gets why that would be the case, if everything she's just told him really is true...

It is just hard for him to believe it, because he can't imagine that he'd ever feel the same way about her.]

Yeah.

When you're feelin' down, it...

[His poorly thrown together slang has fallen to the wayside for a little bit, as this is important.]

It helps not to be by yourself.

[Soft hands fold neatly in his lap.

Or, well... They aren't all that soft anymore.]

Thanks for tellin' me all of this stuff.

I know it must be hard for ya.

I was, for the first two months I was here. I recall that Lucina offered her shared tent with Riza back in Perdition's Rest and I took it for the shelter, however... I did not know either of them very well. I presume they had both assumed I was just homesick whenever they heard me cry.

It was a lot more difficult to bear then, when I was very new and had not had the chance to actually process any of what happened. Nami was the first person I told, and I am glad I did. It has become a lot easier over time.

[They are sitting here together in an absurd place, surrounded by talking felines and the occasional catnip vendors, and it is just now that he suddenly experiences guilt for taking her at face value, and assuming that she was fine.

It is not her fault that she reminds him of many a student council president he's encountered in his lifetime, the very picture perfect portrait of perfection, with not a hair or a grade out of place. He wonders if he took them for granted too, if they were suffering behind closed doors and he just didn't know it.

How many people are suffering?

He needs to work harder, to listen more carefully...

Loneliness can kill you too.]

It's good to talk, even when it's hard. 'Cause if you don't, you'll just...

[He does not know where to put his hands, so they fold neatly in his lap.]

You'll just go crazy.

Like I said... I'm glad you told me.

[There's a beat, and then yet another sigh.]

I never woulda guessed.

Will I?

[ She asks the question softly, a murmur rather than open speech. ]

As a princess your emotions and feelings do not matter. For a long time, I did not really know how to say how I felt, how to even think about it. It is all something I have had to learn over time.

[ Her head tips down slowly. ]

So that is how is should be, that you never would have guessed.

[Perhaps that was what bothered him before, the lack of any expression. Asher is far from a misanthrope, quite the opposite, but there is something about perfection that irks him to some degree, even if the person who appears to be that way is nice enough. People are not well-programmed machines, they make mistakes and cry about them, and that is when connections are most easily made.

If friendships are not cemented with laughter, they will be with tears.]

I know you're a princess, and... That'll always be a part of you, but-

[Even the word is strange to say. Sure, he'd met the mayor's daughter once or twice, known many a dignitary foreign or local, but royalty?

That's so weird.]

At least around me, it's cool if you wanna let your walls down.

[With his statement is an unspoken understanding, though.

Sometimes being honest is the hardest thing to do.]

It is... quite amusing in a way. I told people that I wished to be treated equally, yet I seem to be unable to drop how I act, no matter how hard I try. It is slowly getting easier, but it is taking quite some time.

[ Her mouth twitches though, a small smile--yet genuine--framing her lips. She kicks her feet out slightly then, careful there are no cats under them or anything. ]

In some ways, I do not wish to leave. People here have been so kind.

[Mm.

Sonia is one of the first companions he's heard this sentiment from, as most of the others he has spoken to seem to desperately yearn to return to their own worlds. In a way it has made him feel like somewhat of an outsider, because this team has felt more like home to him than anything ever before.

Even though it is not where he belongs.]

I know exactly what you mean.

[Oliver, someone he supposedly knows and yet can't remember, has emphasized that he misses their classmates at Middleton. But for Asher, what is there to miss?

The boss who hired him for her own personal gain? The father who threw him out? The peers who treat him like an outsider?

Or the woman who showed him a sliver of kindness and seemed content to throw him away when she'd had her fill of his warmth?

He is not blameless, oh god, he is so far from that...

So he understands.]

I don't think I've ever been in a place with this many nice people before.

[ She isn't alone with it either, but it's a lot rarer to have anyone agree. Some people have a more solid grounding with their home though. Some aren't potentially going back to their own deaths. It's easier to want to go back when you have something to look forward to, and not the hazy green lights of a circle of pods where most of her classmates are still sleeping. Where the dull ache of knowing the crimes she's committed cannot be undone. ]

They are very forgiving, despite everything.

[ She plucks at her dress, head lowered. ]

If I am honest, I am not sure what I would have done without it.

[They are one and the same in that regard.

Her crimes were unintentional, his were founded on ignorance. Asher understands that he is still at fault for his actions, and that his silence was violent too.

Fate can not be undone, but maybe they can prevent these occurrences in the future.

Quietly, he reaches for her hand again, holding it tighter than the last time, implying that he is making a promise.]

Me too.

[What she may not understand in the way his voice breaks is that he too has uttered a terrifying confession in his own right.

He is not a good person, he has done the kinds of things he knows she'd hate him for.

But maybe one day, he'll be better than just that.]

Edited 2017-05-13 00:27 (UTC)

IC CONTACT;

no subject

no subject

no subject

icki this isn't sleeping?!?!?!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject