IC CONTACT;

[moneyballer]

username: I CAN B UR DADDY

✉ ☏ 📷

Comments

audio; pre cat planet

[headlining]

Hey, Asher. Just wanted to reach out and tell you something before I forget.

[Since, knowing himself, he'll only remember to reach out to Asher like...two months later. He's not quite the best with remembering social responsibilities.]

Thanks. For the information you gave me in Woodhurst. It was rather helpful.

[moneyballer]

Hold up, hold up, hold up.

[cue vague gesturing rustle sounds]

I called you in February, bruh.

Did you really just wait a month to thank me?

[headlining]

...

There was a zombie apocalypse going on. I can't say that I had all the time in the world devoted to thanking people, Asher.

[moneyballer]

Then why are you-

[Keats is a super rude person? Like hella rude. Asher wasn't expecting a thank you at all, and so his mind jumps to other conclusions-]

Is this a booty call, or somethin'?

[it is late at night]

1/2

[headlining]

[HE REGRETS EVERYTHING, THIS IS WHY HE ISN'T NICE TO PEOPLE, YOU GET STUFF LIKE THIS!! WHAT THE HECK]

2/2

[headlining]

[THE LOUDEST SIGH.]

No, Asher, it isn't...that. Do you really think I'm interested in you that way?

[moneyballer]

I-D-freakin'-K, man.

[He shrugs on his end of the feed.]

I mean, it is hella late right now and we both know you're single as fuck.

[headlining]

H-hey, wait now, it isn't-! I'm not-!

[INTERNAL KEYSMASHING]

I really did just contact you to say thank you! I don't have any ulterior motives like that!

[moneyballer]

[Jokingly, he fake whispers into the communicator, cupping both hands around his mouth even though the gesture will go unseen.]

Thirsty.

[headlining]

[he's never had so much regret in his entire life]

I don't even know entirely what that means, but whatever it means, I'm sure it's something sexual, and it's something I'm not, thank you very much.

[moneyballer]

Yeah?

[You can practically hear the way his lips quirk upwards in a mischievous smile.]

You're not itchin' for a little-

[thank god they aren't in the same room so asher can't like... bust out some weird but still oddly sexual dance move]

Company?

[headlining]

No.

[>8I]

I already have things to deal with, and besides, I don't think flirting with you is something I've even thought about.

[moneyballer]

You're not foolin' anybody, Mr. Grumpy Goatee.

[A snort. Despite his ridiculous conclusions and warped perception that he is some kind of catch, Asher knows that there's more to this conversation than meets the eye.]

I don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that you're totes alonesy bones, am I right?

[Don't worry, he does plan on going somewhere with this.]

'Cause, let's be real. If you were are all fine 'n good-

[A sigh.]

I wouldn't be the person you'd be hittin' up right about now, would I?

[headlining]

I'm not "hitting you up" right now, idiot. I just came to say something I should've said before.

[He lets out a loud huff. Honestly, the gall of this man...]

I have other people to talk to. You're hardly the only person in the world.

[moneyballer]

[other people??? ok, like how many, rly, can't b more than 3]

Well, ch'yeah, but...

I'm here if you ever really do need me, y'know?

[Asher raises one quizzical eyebrow.]

You're sure that's all this is?

[headlining]

[That's a question a bit out of the blue.]

What do you mean?

[moneyballer]

[There comes a soft murmur in his throat, as if he's buckling down for a long conversation.]

Which part, bud?

[headlining]

Uh, well. Why do you think this is all because of something else? I've said nothing to the contrary.

[NOTICE AS HE SIDE-STEPS THE FRIENDSHIP QUESTION, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 10/10 FOR TECHNIQUE]

[moneyballer]

I dunno.

[His voice grows noticeably softer.]

A lotta weird shit's been goin' down.

You got anyone to talk to? About all this... Crazy stuff?

[headlining]

What, the zombie apocalypse soft of stuff?

[He scoffs.]

What's talking going to do for me?

[moneyballer]

Yeaahhh, that.

[He watches the glowing device on his wrist, worried.]

And uh, it's different for everyone, I think.

For me? Talking's helped to like, air things out I guess.

You wanna give it a go?

[headlining]

...

[Asher raises a good point, but...]

You're barely an acquaintance. How will I know you aren't going to use it against me, hm?

["I don't trust you. Not yet."]

[moneyballer]

[meanwhile asher is just???????????]

No offense, man? But like, why, l-o-l.

[oh my god is he

implying

that keats is kind of irrelevant i think he is]

It's not like I'm gonna use these deets to yank your ween or what the hell ever.

[ah and then, he realizes, bcuz keats is an old useless fart of a man]

Metaphorically speaking.

[headlining]

I'm always amazed at the depths of your vulgarity, Asher.

[He sighs. He hates this. He doesn't want to share anything. He's an observer. An outsider. He can't just share his feelings, what kind of nonsense is that?]

[A part of him wants to open up, another part desperately doesn't want to, and yet another just...doesn't even know how to do it in the first place.]

Besides, how do you even do a thing like that? Are you going to make me lounge on a couch and ask me personal questions like some kind of therapist?

[moneyballer]

[And Asher can see that, bits and pieces, knowing full well the awkward feeling of loneliness, of wanting to share but not knowing exactly how.]

You just start talkin'.

[A sigh.]

Like, if your day sucked, you call your friend and go, "Wow! My day really friggin' sucked!"

It's no big deal.

[Or at least, not for someone like himself.]