I mean, it's not like it ended totally poorly. It just...we're still friends. I suppose. In a way.
[Again, it's complicated. Keats takes off his glasses, rubbing his eyes with a sigh. Asher, showing him sympathy? It's weird. People showing him sympathy in general is weird.]
[Asher stares into the video feed, as if there's something more he wants to say.
Keats is different, maybe. The younger Millstone has lived a fairly entitled life, and is used to getting what he wants, in many ways. This is the same for romantic partners or people he's interested in- He is bad at waiting, impatient especially when it comes to love, but he had managed to do it for Jin's sake, hadn't he?
Sort of.]
Well, okay.
Be careful though- This kinda stuff, if it blows up in your face 'n all...
[Asher often finds himself trapped in his own tangled web of emotions, and that has made it somewhat difficult when it comes to relating to other people, or even seeing things their way. His time on this team has taught him how to pay closer attention, how to read subtle lines around the mouth or really hear a faltering voice.
The desire to be seen, it seems, is a universal one.]
[He just stares at the camera. It's very, very hard for him to believe that. Even he's not so naive to assume even people who get along with really care about him.]
[Because if he were in their shoes, he wouldn't care about him, either.]
Asher hasn't been great about that sort of thing either. After all, that's why it had been so inconceivable- To think that Keats had just called to say thank you.]
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[Again, it's complicated. Keats takes off his glasses, rubbing his eyes with a sigh. Asher, showing him sympathy? It's weird. People showing him sympathy in general is weird.]
It's just all up in the air, really.
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[He nods in response.]
Okay! Well, that means they probably don't hate you, right?
But are you cool with that? Just being friends, I mean.
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[At least, he hopes so. But he'd know about that, wouldn't he, if that was true?]
...I don't know. I guess I'm just...waiting to see what they'll do.
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[There's a tinge of disbelief in his voice.]
And not say anything, even though this is clearly drivin' you nuts.
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[He says, some frustration in his tone.]
I can't just break off the friendship. I can't force them to feel the way I feel. They seem fine with the middle road. I am, too.
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Keats is different, maybe. The younger Millstone has lived a fairly entitled life, and is used to getting what he wants, in many ways. This is the same for romantic partners or people he's interested in- He is bad at waiting, impatient especially when it comes to love, but he had managed to do it for Jin's sake, hadn't he?
Sort of.]
Well, okay.
Be careful though- This kinda stuff, if it blows up in your face 'n all...
It's the worst. Trust me, I know.
I've been there.
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[He dwells on those words for a moment, his expression growing pensive. He doesn't know what to do. He's going along with the current, so to speak.]
What do you think I should do?
[A beat.]
It's obvious they don't like me the way I like them.
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[Meaning: His answer is going to be very honest.]
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[He bites his lip, gnawing it hesitantly for a brief moment in time.]
Easier said than done, I know.
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I can't.
[He finally says, reaching up to adjust his glasses with a finger. He sounds completely resigned.]
What else do I have?
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[This kind of thing really breaks his heart, it does.]
Other people.
[The fear of being alone is an overwhelming thing, one that Asher knows very well.]
I'm here, right? I know, I'm not the person who makes you feel those things, but-
[How does he approach this carefully?]
We had this talk! Because we're bros, and I care about you.
I can't be the only one.
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[There's a soft laugh here.]
You care about me? You? [He almost wants to scoff.] Goodness, I do hope you're all right in the head there, Asher.
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[Asher often finds himself trapped in his own tangled web of emotions, and that has made it somewhat difficult when it comes to relating to other people, or even seeing things their way. His time on this team has taught him how to pay closer attention, how to read subtle lines around the mouth or really hear a faltering voice.
The desire to be seen, it seems, is a universal one.]
I mean it.
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[He just stares at the camera. It's very, very hard for him to believe that. Even he's not so naive to assume even people who get along with really care about him.]
[Because if he were in their shoes, he wouldn't care about him, either.]
It's very easy to say.
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[He snorts a little, though not derisively.]
You're funny.
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[He's not sure what to think about that.]
A comedian is funny, though. Do you care about any comedian that makes you laugh?
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Who doesn't love to laugh?
[Asher looks down, still smiling, but unsure..]
I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.
[Which is the truth.]
Then that'd be a lie, and...
That's worse than not caring at all.
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[He shakes his head.]
Yes, lying would be worse. I'd rather hear the truth than someone trying to persuade me that they think about my feelings when they don't.
[Good words and all but YOU HAVE TO CARE ABOUT PEOPLE TOO, KEATS]
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[Boy, he's starting to understand why Keats doesn't really talk feelings with anybody.
The guy's a goddamn mess.]
Everybody's got somethin' that's great about 'em, even if they suck.
Yeah? I happen to like some of those things about you.
It sounds like you've had it a little rough, and I don't how or why you might be the way you are, but...
[His voice trails off.]
I can't help but think that, maybe things'll get better for you. Eventually.
That's it.
1/?
2/?
3/3
[...]
[......]
[He...really doesn't know what to say. He's always been terrible with anything remotely positive said about him.]
[He clears his throat and glances away, trying not to let anything change the tone of his voice. He's not doing a terribly good job at it.]
...
Thanks.
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[Don't think he didn't notice.
Asher hasn't been great about that sort of thing either. After all, that's why it had been so inconceivable- To think that Keats had just called to say thank you.]
We're good, yeah?
I'm glad you opened up a little.
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[Keatspeak for "I really liked it but I'll never admit it ever".]
I guess we're good.
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