IC CONTACT;

[moneyballer]

username: I CAN B UR DADDY

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[headlining]

[he's never had so much regret in his entire life]

I don't even know entirely what that means, but whatever it means, I'm sure it's something sexual, and it's something I'm not, thank you very much.

[moneyballer]

Yeah?

[You can practically hear the way his lips quirk upwards in a mischievous smile.]

You're not itchin' for a little-

[thank god they aren't in the same room so asher can't like... bust out some weird but still oddly sexual dance move]

Company?

[headlining]

No.

[>8I]

I already have things to deal with, and besides, I don't think flirting with you is something I've even thought about.

[moneyballer]

You're not foolin' anybody, Mr. Grumpy Goatee.

[A snort. Despite his ridiculous conclusions and warped perception that he is some kind of catch, Asher knows that there's more to this conversation than meets the eye.]

I don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out that you're totes alonesy bones, am I right?

[Don't worry, he does plan on going somewhere with this.]

'Cause, let's be real. If you were are all fine 'n good-

[A sigh.]

I wouldn't be the person you'd be hittin' up right about now, would I?

[headlining]

I'm not "hitting you up" right now, idiot. I just came to say something I should've said before.

[He lets out a loud huff. Honestly, the gall of this man...]

I have other people to talk to. You're hardly the only person in the world.

[moneyballer]

[other people??? ok, like how many, rly, can't b more than 3]

Well, ch'yeah, but...

I'm here if you ever really do need me, y'know?

[Asher raises one quizzical eyebrow.]

You're sure that's all this is?

[headlining]

[That's a question a bit out of the blue.]

What do you mean?

[moneyballer]

[There comes a soft murmur in his throat, as if he's buckling down for a long conversation.]

Which part, bud?

[headlining]

Uh, well. Why do you think this is all because of something else? I've said nothing to the contrary.

[NOTICE AS HE SIDE-STEPS THE FRIENDSHIP QUESTION, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 10/10 FOR TECHNIQUE]

[moneyballer]

I dunno.

[His voice grows noticeably softer.]

A lotta weird shit's been goin' down.

You got anyone to talk to? About all this... Crazy stuff?

[headlining]

What, the zombie apocalypse soft of stuff?

[He scoffs.]

What's talking going to do for me?

[moneyballer]

Yeaahhh, that.

[He watches the glowing device on his wrist, worried.]

And uh, it's different for everyone, I think.

For me? Talking's helped to like, air things out I guess.

You wanna give it a go?

[headlining]

...

[Asher raises a good point, but...]

You're barely an acquaintance. How will I know you aren't going to use it against me, hm?

["I don't trust you. Not yet."]

[moneyballer]

[meanwhile asher is just???????????]

No offense, man? But like, why, l-o-l.

[oh my god is he

implying

that keats is kind of irrelevant i think he is]

It's not like I'm gonna use these deets to yank your ween or what the hell ever.

[ah and then, he realizes, bcuz keats is an old useless fart of a man]

Metaphorically speaking.

[headlining]

I'm always amazed at the depths of your vulgarity, Asher.

[He sighs. He hates this. He doesn't want to share anything. He's an observer. An outsider. He can't just share his feelings, what kind of nonsense is that?]

[A part of him wants to open up, another part desperately doesn't want to, and yet another just...doesn't even know how to do it in the first place.]

Besides, how do you even do a thing like that? Are you going to make me lounge on a couch and ask me personal questions like some kind of therapist?

[moneyballer]

[And Asher can see that, bits and pieces, knowing full well the awkward feeling of loneliness, of wanting to share but not knowing exactly how.]

You just start talkin'.

[A sigh.]

Like, if your day sucked, you call your friend and go, "Wow! My day really friggin' sucked!"

It's no big deal.

[Or at least, not for someone like himself.]

[headlining]

Okay, then fine. Fine! Things have been going badly. Is that what you need to hear?

[NO KEATS THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS YOU SIX PIECE CHICKEN NUGGET NOBODY]

[moneyballer]

[At that Asher pauses, worried for the other man. Keats will be able to hear it perhaps, the sound of shuffling beneath fabric, as the law student positions himself more comfortably before continuing.]

I don't need to hear it like that. Knowing that you're havin' a hard time isn't fun for me.

I'm not that messed up.

[Still, this is something.

Progress.]

Okay, so things haven't been goin' so great.

Is it just the zombie crap, or... Somethin' else?

[His head shakes on his end, although Keats can't see it.]

Did you get into a fight with anybody?

[headlining]

It's a lot of things.

[He feels so strange. Talking about himself, what a novel invention! Reporters aren't exactly the autobiographical type. Only a name goes on the article and nothing more. And yet, he continues with a sigh, because honestly, he doesn't know what else to say.]

No, I didn't, it's just...it's been complicated. With another person, more exactly.

[A huff.]

I don't know how to deal with it.

[moneyballer]

Complicated, huh.

[There goes that knowing click of the tongue. For a fully grown adult, Keats is pretty... Transparent.]

Is this a certain someone that you might...

[insert unnecessary asher head wriggle here]

Wanna be more than friends with, maybe?

[headlining]

[There's a long silence, before:]

...Maybe.

1/2 (audio -> video)

[moneyballer]

[Keats will suddenly see the transmission change from audio to video, with a close up on Asher's face-]

2/2

[moneyballer]

[as it morphs in2 this heinous expression]

[headlining]

[Instantly:]

I'm going to hang up.

[moneyballer]

Soooo...

[YOU AREN'T HANGING UP U LIL BITCH]

What happened?