moneyballer | IC CONTACT;

[True to Asher's words, an hour or so after his usual time, he's still not back at their shared apartment. It's close enough to when Jin usually sleeps that he's sitting in bed, flipping inattentively through a book on Woodhurst's history. And casting nervous glances at Asher's bed on his side of the room.

He'd mentioned he'd be late, but maybe not this late. It's dark out, and there've still been intermittent sightings of infected... Jin's about to reach for his magitek to send Asher a worried message when he hears the keys jangling in the lock.

What a relief.]

I'm in the bedroom. [he calls loud enough for Asher to hear from the door.]

[Asher's black saddle bag hits the floor with a thud, and the door slams behind him. Printed on the front of that accursed thing are the letters "LYE & STEEL" in thick white font, as the firm tends to brand its employees in whatever way possible.

He shakes off his jacket, draping it over the nearest chair, taking a moment to pull a dry plate from the dish rack. The woman working at the cafe had done him a favor by letting him order something close to closing time, but he may or may not have slipped her some extra cash in return.]

Ayyyyyyy.

[Asher laughs right after he says it, in a jovially playful tone. Jin doesn't need to know about what just happened, not yet, as they're still in the early stages of their little investigation. It takes him a little while to change out of his suit and into his nightwear, which consists of a simple white tee and his boxers from earlier on in the day, but he soon saunters into the bedroom with dessert in hand.]

You hungry?

[Raising a brow, he pulls the sheets back while sliding into bed with the monk, setting the dish on the other's lap over the covers. Slowly, the law student leans back against the wall and curls an arm around his friend, although the way they're leaning against one another suggests that they are more than just that.]

Sorry, things took longer than I thought they would. So, what's shakin', bacon?

[s t op

why do u ruin the mood

with words lyk dis]

Edited 2017-02-02 23:43 (UTC)

[Jin sets his book aside just as Asher's striding through the doorway, looking... ridiculous as ever.]

ALASTAIR paid good money for your actual bed, you know.

[It's teasing, never complaining. An easy smile plays on his lips, a far cry from the nervousness that'd wrinkled his brow less than ten minutes before.

The two of them have made no mistakes here. They've been careful, setting up their boundaries and drawing the lines necessary to keep both of themselves in check as very platonic roommates. They are, really, just friends-- or so they've had to resign themselves into being, for now.

... but cuddling is definitely okay. Jin moves over to allow Asher more room under the sheets, settling comfortably into the embrace.]

Where'd you get this? [He's already unsticking the paper lining from the outside of the cupcake.] You didn't have to bring me anything if you were already late.

[Friends who cuddle and kiss and definitely held hands at the coffee shop, but yeah, sure.

Tell yourselves whatever you want, boys.]

Aaaaah, it's from that bakery we hit up a while back. No worries though, it's on the way home from work.

[No, it totally wasn't, and Hiruma definitely yelled at him for taking that particular detour. Jin hasn't been to the firm with him, so at least he won't know.]

This is the only thing we ordered that you actually finished. Which means you liked it, right?

Edited 2017-02-03 00:07 (UTC)

[They definitely held hands at the coffee shop, and would've at the bakery too if Asher hadn't gotten cake frosting on his hands. gj sabotaging ur own ~bi journey~ ash]

Good memory: I did. [Jin takes a bite over the plate, making sure not to scatter crumbs on the bed.] Thank you, Asher.

[He had something important to talk about, didn't he? He was so pissed off earlier today, but now he barely remembers. Asher's fault for coming home and plying him with food.

He pauses, chewing, then remembers. Right. Perdition's Rest. Way to fucking ruin his cupcake Kaz Brekker, god.]

That thing from earlier today, by the way...

[Both brows lift with an air of faux incredulity, as if he's trying to defend himself.]

This is New England, yo!

[A scoff.]

It gets real cold out here.

[That is a shitty excuse and they both know it; Asher just appreciates any time he can spend near the other man. They had agreed on avoiding heated makeouts and overtly sexual advances, but a little snuggling certainly won't hurt.

He reaches out to touch the other with his free hand, fingers brushing over a bicep, up and then down again.]

...Yeah? What's up?

Yeah. Cold. I trained in the friggin' mountains. Not even I can use that excuse. [Jin laughs and leans over Asher to set the plate down on his bedside table; a moment later he's taken his spot nestled in Asher's arm once more.

It's a dangerous line they're skirting, and they both know that, too. But, of course, now that the truth's out... keeping distance would simply make those bottled up feelings that much stronger. They couldn't stay away from each other if they tried.

His smile fades as he gets back on topic.] I didn't tell you everything Kaz told me, the day he set that deal to hand Cass over to us. I thought about it today 'cause of his dumb loan thing. The asshole haggled for more from me, since he actually did find Cass instead of just picking up information. I would've gotten him lower than we had to pay when we did, but... he brought up that'd you'd offered him a favor too. So I took his gouged-up price. And I never mentioned that to you.

[Jin doesn't look Asher in the face. It's embarrassing, this confession: he'd had a kneejerk reaction for Asher's safety and had made them suffer for it. He sinks backward against the warmth of Asher's frame, voice growing more quiet.]

I didn't want them to hold anything over you. If you could risk your life going after me... I figured I could put up with him, at least.

[A grin is all he can offer in response to that first little jab, because what else can he say? That it's easier to count the freckles on Jin's nose and cheeks from up close, that he enjoys the way the other's hair feels beneath his fingers? No, no.

If he spoke those words, he'd be breaking the rules.]

Wait, what?

[Out of curiosity, he edges even closer, looping his free arm around the object of his affections.]

So you're... Pissed at him for wanting me to do what... I said I'd do?

[The bounty did mention that they'd both be willing to pay up.

Ah, he's so naive. Unable to understand what a "favor" may entail.]

[............WELL WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT]

Asher. Think about it.

[Jin shoots him a Look: this is exactly the reason he'd worried. Debt is powerful. Debt can bend the knees of kings, if manipulated skillfully by someone shrewd enough. Owing someone someone as slippery as Kaz in particular isn't something that Jin would wish on someone as earnest as Asher.]

Our offer was a round of drinks and something you hadn't decided on yet. What kind of teenagers ask for multiple cartons of bullets and hundreds of dollars worth of alien currency, then hand you a bandit whose face is half pulp? If they were willing to jack my end of the deal up to that, who knows what they would've asked you to do.

[It is strange, to suddenly learn that there are people who care enough to protect you at a cost to themselves. Asher is suddenly filled with both warmth and something less palatable, because he realizes that while Jin's behavior comes from a place of love, it is destructive too.]

Oh, buddy.

[He clicks his tongue once or twice.]

We need to talk.

Edited 2017-02-03 06:54 (UTC)

[That doesn't sound good. Jin raises an eyebrow in confusion.

That all made sense, didn't it? He'd wanted to protect someone he cared about, so he'd tried to take the blow himself. In his eyes, there's no problem with that.]

About what?

Listen.

[He shuffles around suddenly, withdrawing his touch and fumbling about crinkled sheets.]

You have a habit of lying to protect me. And, y'know what? I'm not mad at you for it, it's just-

[Propping himself up on his elbows, Asher rests his back against the wall.]

We need to stop keeping things from each other. I mean, that's how we got in this mess, right?

By not telling the truth?

[Asher is right. He hates it, but it's the truth.

No longer placated by that source of reassuring physical contact, Jin falls into a guilty silence. t's been gnawing at him, the reality of every little lie and lie-by-omission; it runs in direct contrast to the blunt honesty he prizes in himself. It's not him, to pretend like that, even if he has proven to be very good at it in a pinch.

Lies are for enemies and last-ditch escapes, not your friends.]

I guess.

[He'd rather not make Asher worry if he didn't have to, but that's not worth losing his trust, either.]

No. You're right. No more secrets.

[Jin's nose wrinkles just a tad. Even in the dim light, Asher spots the discomfort immediately.

By no means is Asher Millstone perfect when it comes to emotional intimacy, but being a sensitive person has its perks. He isn't as quick-witted as people like Hiruma, and he definitely isn't as creative as someone like Nami, but he does know how to make others feel safe.

He brushes a stray lock of hair from his friend's forehead.]

Do you want me to go first?

[Make no mistake, it's not as though this isn't terrifying.]

[And, by now, he knows exactly how to make Jin feel safe.

The gesture gets Jin to relax a bit; glancing at Asher with a touch less uncertainty, he nods.]

Please.

[It'll give him time to figure out what he's supposed to say too.]

[He continues to repeat the gesture so that they're still touching, tapping his fingers lightly against the other's scalp so it'll feel something like a massage.]

So, you know how back in Oska... When the time-bendy bugs were trying to have sex with each other-

[was that last bit rly necessary]

You went back in time, for a little bit?

Wow. Blast from the past... literally. [Everything before his first ALASTAIR mission seems so far-off now that he barely thinks about his initial arrival these days.]

Yeah. I remember being about ten. You told me that you met me older than that, though, too.

[The touch puts him at ease again. He tilts his head, urging Asher's fingers into his hair.]

Keep going.

So, yeah, I definitely ran into you as a teenager.

[His hand remains where it is, but it stops moving for a moment.]

But you don't remember why, do you?

[Jin shakes his head no-- being careful not to shake off Asher's hand.]

I don't remember anything. Not more than an impression here and there.

[He remembers the dark cloud of emotion that came with those difficult years, but hardly more than that. The only person he definitely remembers meeting at that time, oddly, is Olivia, though they've never been much more than cordial teammates.]

You called me, man.

[Surprise.

Asher isn't sure if Jin will make the connection, but there it is, the reason why he was so upset when Jin prodded at his poorly hidden insecurities. It was because at the time, after what happened between them, the lawyer-to-be was so sure they were friends.]

And I don't know why, because you didn't even really like me back then, but-

[His voice cracks slightly. Recalling the way the warrior's eyes were downcast makes him uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because the resemblance was suddenly so striking, because Asher Millstone knows just what it's like to wonder if things would really be any different without you, if they would be better.

Somewhere deep down, he promises himself that he will never let Jin get to that place again.]

Your face was messed up real bad.

[It takes a moment for Jin to link it all together, but the dots eventually connect. That's why he'd reacted the way he had, before they'd all shipped out to Q-65; that's why they'd nearly come to blows after meeting each other again that fateful night in Perdition's Rest. His younger self had been angry; vulnerable and utterly disconnected. Even moreso in Oska where there was no escape and no refuge in anything like home. He had managed to reach out to the closest thing resembling a friend he'd had at the time-- and, of course, that'd been Asher.]

So you helped me. [He can't imagine that Asher wouldn't if he'd asked him for help, pathetic as he knew he looked.] And when it turned out I couldn't remember anything and treated you like I did the first day we'd met... [Asher, lonely as he knows him to be now, had to have taken it personally.] It felt like I was blowing you off?

[That sets those earliest days of friendship into an entirely different perspective: one that makes a lot more sense to him. Jin frowns tightly, sorting through all the thoughts running through his head.

Even early on, Asher had been trying to watch out for him.]

Edited 2017-02-04 00:17 (UTC)

[A soft palm cups a freckled cheek, and Asher's expression suddenly contorts into something that resembles pain. There are no bruises now, Jin's lips are soft and not swollen, and his eyes are gentle but not downcast.]

It made me feel like I didn't matter.

[The notion of being inconsequential or unimportant has always struck a violent chord with him.]

And that doesn't mean I should've acted the way I did! I know that now, but...

That's when I started to worry about you. Because that's what you do, right?

[Both hands cradle Jin's face while the older man's voice gets remarkably softer.]

Push people away so they can't hurt you?

Edited 2017-02-04 02:58 (UTC)

[Hearing the truth hurts. The boy Asher remembers is, for only a moment, before him one more time: small, withdrawn sharply into himself in shame. But he can't find it within him to fight back with any kind of barb in his own defense-- in the end it'd only hurt Asher again, and prove him right.

The weakness passes, because he is not alone. Because he fears his own weakness less and less, every day.

Jin manages a thin, rueful smile, leaning his cheek into Asher's palm.] You pushed back, though. If you hadn't snapped at me like that, I probably wouldn't have paid any more attention to you.

...No, wait. That's not true.

[Jin laughs. The last of the mood is dispelled.]

This is embarrassing, but ten-year-old me definitely had a huge crush on you. He just didn't know he liked boys yet.

[The way his breath hitches as soon as he watches the other's skin grow pale is audible when there's so little distance between, and immediately, both hands circle the other's waist, closing any gap between them. He wants so badly to hug the pain and fear and sadness away, but Jin's shoulders soon relax, and he even laughs a little.

Asher, too, relaxes.]

Yeah?

[A relieved smile.]

You thought I was cute, or somethin'?

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