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IC CONTACT;

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I CAN B UR DADDY

✉ ☏ 📷

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Nevermind...? You mean Sonia?

[oh bitch wtf

that's sweet as hell]

Sure. What's up?

I know her last name's fucked, alright? Half expect her to sit on my window ledge and caw 'Nevermore' until I fucking die.

(yeah, if you didn't know you were dealing with a NERD, you do now.)

Anyway, I've got those few documents we had to fill out for our work terms. They're to be on Lye's desk by the end of the day, but I'm out right now. I've got it all in a manila envelope on our desk. It's marked. In very bold font. You think you can give it to her for me?

[Hiruma has never texted him before, so Asher assumed that it was some kind of emergency. Now that he knows it's not, his brain rewires, the text configures differently.]

dw fam, I gotchu 😉

it'll b on her desk b4 i peace outta here

where u goin tho, lmao

(what the fuck is "fam", hiruma thinks, nose wrinkling. reminds self to look it up online...)

Alright, thanks. I'm gonna give her a tour, then maybe eat this lunch she packed. I want to go to the University library to check out some history on this place, but we'll see what happens. You?

[He is not answering that question bcuz he's a son of a bitch-]

ohhhhhhmygod

it's a date

She's like, twelve. So unless you're accusing me of something statutory, rephrase that.

no

no dude, she looks young, but she's like 19

(bsod)

Okay. This makes no difference.

🍆💦

What the fuck is that? Eggplant sweat??

(emojis aren't big in his life yet, he's still in flip-phone era...)

what rhymes with eggplant sweat?

[get yo dick wet]

"Why aren't you dead yet."

think about it

what does it look like

A MOTHERFUCKING EGGPLANT

it's a dick, dude

a dick

This one looks more like a dick than a fucking eggplant. 👃

🐛 ???

... 🍄

🍌 💯 LOL.

(now he likes them, fuck you.)

oh ya ur right!!!! that one has the balls n everything, lmao

😂😂😂 👌

There's so many of these... I've only seen the Japanese emoticons, like... ヽ(　･∀･)ﾉ

oh no that's cute... lol

the only japanese one i know is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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slushfund - 2017-02-01 05:15 (UTC) - Expand

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moneyballer - 2017-02-01 05:38 (UTC) - Expand

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slushfund - 2017-02-01 06:35 (UTC) - Expand

and end thread?

moneyballer - 2017-02-01 07:30 (UTC) - Expand

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