asher fuckboy millstone (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
moneyballer) wrote2016-08-01 12:04 pm
moneyballer) wrote2016-08-01 12:04 pmIC CONTACT;
username: I CAN B UR DADDY | ✉ ☏ 📷 |
moneyballer) wrote2016-08-01 12:04 pm
username: I CAN B UR DADDY | ✉ ☏ 📷 |
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On the team? Or just...
At all?
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[Saying that out loud feels good. It lifts some of the weight off his shoulders.
He may not be wonderful, he may not be great, but there are others here who have just as much darkness (if not more)
in their pasts, and they are here today, kind and good.
Kind and good.]
I think that's why I got so mad.
[He finally makes eye contact.]
I know that... I'm not from a world that's ending, and I know that my family's fine and nobody's at war-
[That he knows, anyway.]
But my problems, the things I care about...
They're mine. Y'know?
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Yeah. I get you.
[He takes his hand in his own once more and squeezes.]
You're plenty important to me. You know that too, right?
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For now, however, he is tired, tired enough to relinquish all of his petty bullshit and roll over and onto his side, nestling his way into Jin's lap.
Sometimes, this is the only place where he feels he truly belongs.]
Uh-huh.
[Asher brings the knuckle in his grasp to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against it.]
I do.
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Good.
[This isn't over yet, but it's a start. It's enough for him. Enough for today. The fingers of his free hand carefully weave their way through his hair, massaging the scalp and moving through the curls.]
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With each breath he inhales, a familiar, comforting scent enters his nostrils, and Asher is reminded of how limited his time may be here. Not here on this team or in this castle, but here, in the warmth of Kung Jin's lap. If he had grown into the presentable sort, the type of man his father and mother had wanted to him to be, perhaps he wouldn't cherish this. Wouldn't relish being taken care of, or being undressed and put to bed like some kind of infant.
But oh god, is it nice to have the privilege of acting like brat and knowing that at least one person wont-]
You really hurt my feelings.
[Leave.
The words are barely audible, muffled, as Asher's face is practically buried in Jin's thigh.
You made me feel so small.]
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It's old habit, a remnant of the way he picks at vulnerability, a well-honed offense as defense. Just teasing. But it hadn't been quite right today-- just the wrong soft spot to touch at the wrong time. Jin's hand slows and stops, fingers entwined with Asher's dark hair.]
I didn't mean it, but I still shouldn't have made fun of you anyway.
[He of all people should know better. Moreso that they've been here over and over again; that Jin's put himself here, prepared to mend the wounds or hand Asher the tools to mend them himself.]
Sorry.
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Annalise's voice rings in his ears, filled with the disdain and contempt that almost always seemed present on her face when he looked at her, save for maybe the handful of times he was actually playing into her hands. Once again, he reminds himself that hardly any of this is really about Jin or any variety of multi-talented celebrities. Asher has been at war with himself constantly as of recent, save for the few moments of refuge he shares with the man he loves or any other one of his seemingly dwindling number of close friends.
He forces himself up from that comfortable place, however reluctantly, shifting himself to a seated position beside Jin, hands folded neatly between legs that dangle over the side of the mattress.]
No, no, listen-
[Jin can't know how he's feeling, though. Not if he doesn't speak up.]
I'm the one who should be sorry.
[Another long, drawn-out sigh leaves him.]
I've said way worse things to you, before, and you've forgiven me every time, even when I didn't deserve it.
[Asher reaches out to hold one of Jin's hands again, squeezing it this time.]
I may care about a lot of stupid stuff, but you're more important to me than... Well, all of it.
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Well, yeah. What, did you think I really believed you were gonna break up with me over Beyonce?
[He smiles, sheepish, and his gaze is warm as the fervor in Asher's eyes speaks volumes far louder than the words that've left his lips. And Jin remembers the worse Asher speaks of-- he hadn't deserved the forgiveness, it was true,
but--]
I love you. That means I don't stop loving you when you say stuff you don't really mean... because I know you'd still love me if I did the same.
[He's nearly dumbstruck by the weight of his own words: since when did he know that? Since when was he wise enough to really, in his heart, believe in it? Jin squeezes Asher's hand, his mind skimming across all these months together, over all of the petty arguments and offenses-- and, truly, he can't remember most of them.]
You're that important to me too.
honestly for anybuddy reading this thread like, i'm sorry for the lack of earned introspection
Asher eats those words up in no time, a doofy grin spreading over his face as he listens, stiff body language gradually giving way to something more whimsy, comical. Fluid. He bounces up and down like a lima bean in a cartoon, resting his chin on Jin's shoulder and looking up at him with hopeful, silly eyes.]
Yey.
[yes, yey. not yay. the meme version.]
loRD
Never mind. I take it back.
[...says Jin, releasing Asher's hand and wrapping an arm around him to pull his weirdo boyfriend close. he meant what he said. no amount of memes could change it.]
this is horrifying
You luuuuuuurve me.
gags
Oh yeah? What're you gonna do about it?
1/2
2/2
Soooo...
Is this the part where we make out?
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Take a wild guess.
[and then.... he drags ash down and onto the bed for the romcom Smooch™]
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