IC CONTACT;

[moneyballer]

username: I CAN B UR DADDY

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Comments

[ex_mettacrusher33]

i finally understand why violence is acceptable on television and nudity is not.

[moneyballer]

why r u so worried about junk all of a sudden, robro?

[robro, meaning robo bro]

you're not thinkin of gettin some giant metal dong installed, r u

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[THAT he understands. That is not what is offensive here.]

i was led to believe they were simple in design. that they were practical and occasionally sparkled. not these... aberrations. these sins. these body-parts that god forgot. these nightmare slugs that cannot abscond from my restless eyes.

[moneyballer]

what the hell have you been reading?

twilight?????

[ex_mettacrusher33]

i'm not sure what that is, but it can't possibly be worse than the images you've subjected me to.

JESUS CHR IST

[moneyballer]

oh my god

did i get drunk and send you anything-

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Were you drunk when you were discussing pelvic slugs?

Because honestly, I'm not sure what the difference between your intoxicated self and your sober self is.

[moneyballer]

[ok good

whew

the robot hasn't seen his dick]

sorry i misunderstood ya there!!! ahahaha lol 👌👌👌👌👌 ✔️️ 💯

dw about it 2 much dudey

dicks r kinda funny lookin, u get used 2 em

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[...what is that relief about? That's... an awful lot of emojis for a simple misunderOH

OH MY GOD.]

YOU THOUGHT YOU SHOWED ME YOUR BEPIS?!

[moneyballer]

what the ???

use ENGLISH man

[ex_mettacrusher33]

YOUR... DINGWALLACE??

IS THAT WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK?!

text -> audio

[moneyballer]

[OK HE IS LOSING HIS SHIT AT "DINGWALLACE" HE'S GOTTA USE THAT

the change 2 audio was mostly so you can hear him LAUGHING]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[Normally, Mettaton ADORES the sound of human laughter.

This is not a normal time.]

No, let's get to the truth behind this. Is that a thing you do when you're drunk? Is there an HR representative that I can call to warn them about this behavior?

plz dont waste food in times of shortage asher

[moneyballer]

yeah hold on

[It takes him a couple of minutes or so, but in little while, MTT will receive an image of a banana that's been stuffed into a condom, and it's set on a kitchen table.]

here it is:

my bepis ;)

you absolute monster

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[Asher doesn't get a response for a moment. There is only the comforting 3am silence of the kitchen to keep him company.

Until... huh. That sounds like someone stomping through the hallways.

That sounds like someone breaking the lock off the apartment door with pure, raw strength.

That sounds like Mettaton swinging a newspaper at Asher's head.]

[moneyballer]

[As soon as he hears more than just a knock at the door, Asher's hand is already on the sheath of the butcher knife in their kitchen.

Dread doesn't begin to describe the half of it. This apartment, stuffy as it might have become after days of keeping the windows and doors shut tight, is the only space where they can create an illusion of safety.

Mid-lunge, the law student realizes that their "attacker" is just a disgruntled teammate.]

Dude!

[He is hit by that newspaper.]

What the hell?

[A growl.]

You better fix the freakin' door.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[You better fix your ATTITUDE was what was about to leave the robot's speakers, but the sheer level of anger on Asher's face cuts him short.

...Mettaton didn't quite think this one through, did he?]

...

[Well.

Lips pursed, he steps back toward the door with the broken lock. The lock itself is snapped, the long chain that secured the door to the wall completely broken in half.]

.................

[Quietly, Mettaton shuts the door to hide his next actions from the rest of the apartment. If there was ever a way to sheepishly summon a laser-firing disco ball to meld the chains back together again, Mettaton is managing to do it.]

[moneyballer]

[Perhaps this is his own fault. Joking around isn't the best thing to do in the situation they're in, but to some degree, he can't help it.

The knife is placed back on the table.]

Do you know how long it took us to board that up?

Geez.

[He rests a hand on the nearest chair, taking a moment to compose himself.]

I'm up but my-

[Boyfriend? Roommate?]

Jin's sleeping.

We don't need to do this crap right now.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

...

[It's too late. He's already fixing your stupid door. The laser fuses the chain back together easily enough, so it's on to pointedly ignoring Asher's complaints as he picks up the shattered half of the deadbolt. It looks like the portion inside of the wall is slightly bent, but if the lock itself is stuck back into its socket, it should work just fine, if not a bit wobbly. But that one's harder to get at with the laser...

Gingerly, Mettaton places his fingers into the door where the lock is supposed to go, holding the shattered remnant from where it broke back into place. Electricity surges through his hand, melting the metal with a POP and forcing them back into one piece.

Huff. There.

...shame isn't an emotion Mettaton likes to dwell on. Forgetting that his teammates are only humans, that they don't have a choice BUT to think of being attacked in the night by a bunch of flesh-hungry infected, is not something he's the proudest of.

So he doesn't say anything as he slips back through the now-repaired door and out into the hall again.

This was awkward. Let's never speak of it again.]

and end?

[moneyballer]

Are you even listening to me? H-hey, wait...!!!

[He yells through gritted teeth but his efforts are to no avail.

As soon as the door is repaired, the robot is gone.

Asher sighs all too loudly, falling back against the counter.

He can do nothing but eye the bits that aren't quite right, the lock that doesn't look all that stable. Safety was already an issue, and he hopes to god that Mettaton didn't break anything outside of their apartment, as the building should be inaccessible without a lock or a key. Has someone else the busted the door?

They're gonna need better security.]

Fuck.

We've gotta do somethin' about this.